oscar
From: The Middle East
Age: 49
Living in Denmark for 29 years
Owns a business since 2005
Fled his country at age 19
Oscar’s story of finding refuge in Denmark is one of seeking stability, safety, freedom and peace.
“My big dreams are for humanity; to respect humanity and each other’s opinions. My personal dream is to have family. I am turning 50 next year, so I just want to settle down and relax with some family and friends. That is my personal dream. It’s not so much. My dream for my son is just for his happiness, like any parent.”
Oscar’s Childhood and War
His story begins as a boy growing up in the Middle East during a time of national upheaval. The same year as Oscar’s country was spurned into violence and chaos, his own life turned upside down with the passing of this mother. Oscar was the youngest of seven siblings, and the family struggled after his mother’s death.
At the young age of 16, Oscar was forced into the military and sent to fight on the frontlines during a war. This was a traumatic experience for such a young man, so he escaped the military to get away from the cruelty and threat of war and hid for several months. After realizing that he would never be able to leave the country without finishing his military duty, Oscar reenlisted as a soldier. In 1990, when Oscar was 19 years old, he was able to flee war in search of a safer home.
A New Beginning
Oscar travelled alone across Europe, ultimately making his way to Denmark to join his older brother who had found asylum here in 1984. After arriving in Denmark, Oscar worked hard to integrate into the culture by taking language classes and finding various jobs. He met a woman from his birth country, who had been granted refugee status in Denmark, and they married and had a son. Oscar recognizes that the immigration laws in Denmark were different 29 years ago than they are today. After 3 or 4 years of marriage, Oscar was able to receive permanent residency, whereas today that would not be possible.
Gratitude and Grief
It is evident that Oscar is grateful for the stability and freedom that he has found in Denmark, “I really like these people. I really like this community. I like the democracy. You can say whatever you want here. I don’t understand how some people don’t appreciate it and don’t use the opportunity here for good.” Oscar feels not only a sense of gratitude, but also a feeling of responsibility to use the opportunity he has been given to live a respectable life.
Although he appreciates his home in Denmark, Oscar also misses the people of his birth country, “I would like to be in my own country, of course. I would like to invite my Danish friends to see it and say, this is my background and my culture. I don’t have this opportunity. This makes me sad.”
Finding Employment
When Oscar arrived in Denmark he worked in several different jobs, from coffee to printing to supermarkets to carpentry. He attended language school and became fluent in Danish. After a few years, Oscar applied for a training program. The government paid for him to attend the training because they wanted him to be independent, and he has proudly paid his taxes ever since. Oscar is very cognizant of the life he has been able to create in Denmark, saying, “I really appreciate the opportunity.” In 2005 Oscar was able to open his own business, and he has been very successful, “I like my job. I like my work. I like my customers. They are not family or friends, but they are very close. We tell each other our histories. They are very nice people. I like that I don’t have stress in my work. It is a little physically hard, but it’s mentally relaxing.”
Integration’s Challenges
Integration can be difficult for refugees in Denmark because they do not feel fully accepted by their new country, yet they are no longer part of their old country. Oscar acknowledges this difficulty, “I have a few friends, but I don’t really go out in the community much. I don’t feel so comfortable because people don’t know me and it’s not so easy to get friends and have a conversation. Of course, I feel hurt when I’m out and I can feel people look at me differently because of my skin color. Or at least that’s my perception. I don’t take it personally. At the beginning I got sad, but now I don’t get sad, I just say that’s how it is.”
Simple Dreams
Oscar has a peaceful, kind, contemplative temperament. He has an open perspective to understanding and accepting different viewpoints and opinions, “We all try to be good, even the evil people. I hope everything will work out, because we are all humans on this earth, and we all have to cooperate.”
In thinking about his dreams, Oscar says, “My big dreams are for humanity; to respect humanity and each other’s opinions. My personal dream is to have family. I am turning 50 next year, so I just want to settle down and relax with some family and friends. That is my personal dream. It’s not so much. My dream for my son is just for his happiness, like any parent.”
*Oscar’s name has been changed and his birth country not revealed at his request, as he still lives in fear for the safety of himself and his family. Oscar's experience is a long-term reality for many refugees having fled countries where their lives continue to be at risk.
